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Mega Flora Artisan Shaving Soap | Ultra Premium CK-6 Formula

$19.95 USD

Spring Is Here & with Spring Comes, Mega Flora!  [The Shaver Mystery Continues Below, Scroll Way Down!]

Scent Profile: French Lavender, Bergamot, Petitgrain, Rose Geranium, Tonka Bean, Clary Sage, Fir Needle, Pine, Juniper, Chamomile, Bamboo, Cedarwood, Haitian Vetiver, Rose Absolute, Hay Absolute, Oakmoss Absolute.

Find The Entire Mega Flora Collection ===> HERE!

To say this is a complex scent would be an understatement. I mean, with one glance at the scent profile you will see 16 different scent notes in this accord! What I can promise is this is a very sophisticated, well blended aromatic experience! A very smooth take on a class of Fougère called Aromatic. An Aromatic Fougère will often include herbacious notes, spices and woody notes.

I personally find Mega Flora to be enchanting. The way the scent develops is an exercise in lycanthropy or shape shifting! The lead in is a double helix of French Lavender and Tonka Bean, a sweet, seductive siren song that hooks you by both nostrils and drags you into the forest! The woods are made up of Bamboo, a kiss of Citrus, Rose and Evergreen. Weaving playfully in between the trees are the soothing, herbaceous notes of Chamomile and Clary Sage. Lastly are the deep, heavy, slightly sweet and resinous undertones of Haitian Vetiver and Earthy Oakmoss & Hay. Green, Serene & Smooth.

If you are a fan of green original fragrances or just love a thoughtful, smooth & sophisticated modern fragrance, Mega Flora is just what you are looking for. Take a step into the unknown, take a step into the woods!

Soap Ingredients: Potassium Stearate, Glycerin, Potassium Cocoate, Aqua, Potassium Kokumate, Sodium Lactate, Potassium Shea Butterate, Potassium Castorate, Sodium Stearate, Potassium Cocoa Butterate, Potassium Avocadoate, Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Seed Oil, Theobroma Grandiflorum (Capuacu) Butter, Astrocaryum (Murumuru) Seed Butter, Platonia Insignis (Bacuri) Seed Butter, Parfum [Fragrance]

Soap Net Wt 4 oz (113 g)

External Use Only, Discontinue Use if Irritation Occurs

Handmade In Arizona, USA

Mega Flora
The Saga Continues

[For those following the ongoing adventure! If you are unaware of the PAA Universe, you must read The AGHARTA Trilogy, Organism 46b, John Frum & ESP!]

Somewhere In Time

Imagine a world overtaken, or rather reclaimed by the Earth in all her reckless and untidy glory. Let's face it, mama nature was never meant to be a house wife in any epoch. Order and domestication is not a good look for her. She made the choice, a long time ago, to just let it all hang out, to allow things to sort themselves out, and if humans or the gods didn't like it, too bad.

On the feral landscape of this new horizon an ancient parking garage is now crumbling to dust, its gnarled and exposed rebar makes an excellent support for the vines and vegetation that now cover what is left of the structure. A short distance away, a giant antenna supports a mass of mysterious, needling vines as they climb their way towards the sun in a slow, undulating rhythm of cling. At the base of the antenna is another mound of green, suggesting perhaps it was once a small UHF station. The air surrounding this scene is damp and thick with humidity. Airborne seed pods of all different sizes and colors are whirling like disturbed dust in a ray of sunlight coming through a window pane on a sleepy Sunday morning.

An abundance of trees, various and looming, of unknown species grow steadily towards the sky, dwarfing what we ever could recall of those majestic Northern California Redwoods. Huge birds, reptiles, and insects partake in the cacophony of this immense rain forrest scene and symphony.

Suddenly, at precisely the same moment that a giant Venus fly trap clamps down on an unsuspecting lizard, is when it appears. Just like that, no warning, no reason, no sound...a cube. About the size of an average microwave oven, sleek, black, and hovering in place silently. It seems to scan the invasive green landscape, spinning slowly in a circle, taking it all in. If it could, it would give an impressed whistle. Then in a flash of white light it disappears just as suddenly as it previously arrived. However, in that same moment, on that same spot, a group of strangers flash into sudden existence.

“He was here.” The man said, pulling off his pith helmet and wiping sweat off his brow with the back of the same hand.

“How do you know?” Asked the woman standing next to him, but before he could answer another voice spoke up, “because he can smell it.”

The man in the pith hat and woman both turned and in unison shout in surprise, “Aldous”!

This in turn scares the living bejeezus out of the 100 pound malamute that was, up until the outburst, caught up on his own suspicious scent trail. No, it wasn't that pesky, meddling CUBE he was picking up on, though its charcoal like ozone musk was undoubtedly fresh and still hanging on the breeze like a lightening strike. No this other distinctive scent was both more menacing and more intriguing. Green, slightly spicy, feisty, unruly, and teeming with life. It danced in front of the mesmerized malamute like a dangling mystical carrot of taboo, like a phantom or trickster spirit, reminiscent of the coyotes he had bumped into accidentally in the Arizona desert after dark. But now Huxley's reverie was broken and he just stared at the strange looking human before him. "This better be good..." he thought, "or at least call for a lunch break." His stomach grumbled as if to punctuate that last point.

Aldous stood naked as a jaybird before them except for a turban, and in that same instance Ludmilla suddenly materialized. Aldous made a high pitched shriek and disappeared in a white flash.

"Damn it, he's gone again!" Doug blurted out while making an exaggerated show of feeling the air wildly with his hands where Aldous just was.

"He really needs to stop doing that." he added. "I think he likes you Ludmilla," Fran added. Ludmilla just stood there looking confused and doubtful, still wearing her cloak.

Suddenly, Aldous reappeared in a smart plaid sports jacket, jeans, a t-shirt, and a cap in place of the turban. "Sorry, still getting used to this Time Hopping thing." Doug just pointed his finger at Aldous, and said in the same tone he would to Hux, "Stay."

They all now looked around slowly. Where were they? Judging by the strange make of the grounded crafts and vehicles in the what one could imagine were at one time streets, they were at some point in the future...but when? "Why would the CUBE lead us here?" asked Douglas and continued, "Mega Flora & Fauna for all the eye can see."

"I'm not sure." answered Fran in a distracted tone as she knelt down poking at the gelatinous substance glistening on the twisting vines that covered the road. She then looked up at everyone and matter of factly asked, "How did we all escape the 1920s?"

That was actually a really good question. The last thing Doug remembered was being lifted up by his hood and thrown into the back of a wagon outside the great carnival tent they had been rolling around in right before all hell broke loose. Had they all collectively time hopped together? At this point it seemed as if the phenomenon had an intelligence of its own and they in fact had zero control over it.

Before they had an opportunity to compare notes, or get their bearings, off in the distance the CUBE reappeared. It didn't seem to pay them any attention and hovered off mysteriously into the jungle.

All at once the group met each others gaze, and without vocalizing the same shared thought, decided to follow it quietly.

5 minutes after they were out of sight, Maria Orsic and her small band of Nazi soldiers magically appeared. "He was here..." She said making no attempt to hide the fact that she was sniffing the air, "...Smythe."

                                                                 *   *   *

Immediately after entering the forrest both Fran and Doug felt uneasy, they could not help but sense they were being watched, even Ludmilla & Hux were on guard. Aldous, on the other hand couldn't appear more at home in the lush & fecund surroundings, yapping on and on about his short time as a vaudeville sensation. Every so often he would stop in mid sentence to delight in the smell a giant species of flower, and then he'd pick right back up in his diatribe on this and that. Douglas completely tuned him out and kept his eyes on the CUBE.

Doug first crossed paths with CUBE one strange day 5 years back on a trip to Blythe, California. He was there to check out some unique geoglyphs located there. He had reason to believe these ancient "messages to the gods" were actually part of a greater world treasure map of some sort, not intended for gods or aliens, but to the future generations that they knew would eventually take to the they had, in their prime. It was Doug's suspicion that the builders of these vast glyphs were done by the diaspora of a once great, and by that time, fractured advanced civilization.

Sadly, a lot of this true "world map" was destroyed by progress, and simply by honest folks over time that had no idea what they were looking at, if they could even distinguish what it was at all. Thanks to modern LIDAR technology, which is used to survey vast expanses of land from the air, it was possible to see even more of what was on this theoretical map. Douglas was doing just that with a drone Fran had cleverly modified. He commanded the drone from his phone as it flew at a hight of 400 feet. The task was monotonous, similar to mowing the lawn in the sky. For that very reason Fran had decided to stay back at the lab in Arizona, doing more clever Fran things. The scan was for the most part automated. It relied on a digital grid system generated by the program utilizing a standard GPS guidance system. Meaning, he didn't have to look up all day operating a joy stick. But that didn't mean he wasn't looking up, in fact, Doug's eyes were most of the time on the sky...and that, my friend, is how he came to spot CUBE.

"What is that?" Doug thought out loud, startling Huxley who snoozed in a slender section of shade offered by a nearby Organ Pipe Cactus. It really just appeared out of nowhere. Was it another drone? He scanned the landscape looking for a pilot but there was no one around and he was so far away from anyone or anything. Blythe was one of those towns where folks typically only stopped for gas or if they broke down. Was it a balloon? Maybe A Box Kite? At a height of 400 feet, with the afternoon sun directly behind the object, it was tough to say. But it was moving as if guided by something, and was coming uncomfortably close to the drone as it plotted along merrily on its invisible grid. It seemed to be checking it out. Doug dug through his backpack looking for his monocular. Huxley, now interested, bounded over to help. Well, that is if "helping" meant poking around for Cliff Bars, which is how he interpreted Doug's actions.

Peering through the spyglass Doug searched the sky until he came upon the object. It was a perfectly black CUBE. He guessed it was just slightly bigger than the drone. Now the CUBE suddenly seemed to realize it was being observed and locked one of its 6 sides on Douglas. The hair on the back of his neck stood up and an eery feeling reeled down his spine as he saw the CUBE honing in and picking up speed as it closed the distance between them. It was at this point that Huxley took notice of the incoming black box, or more like "Lunch Box", at least in Huxley's mind. As Doug sprinted towards the Jeep Huxley fixed his stare on the rapidly approaching toy. Then with the CUBE only a few short feet away, and ready to dive bomb the Jeep as Doug dove into the hatch, Huxley leaped into the air, jaws open and ready. The giant malamute landed, rolling through the dry sand wrestling his prize into submission. Huxley quickly realized the object definitely was not lunch, nor was it edible. The CUBE, much to his surprise tasted like old people feet, an acquired taste for sure. He quickly spit it out with much gusto.

Doug hopped out of the back of the Jeep and walked over to the CUBE, now motionless on the ground. He gently kicked at it with caution and trepidation, as one does with an unexploded firecracker. There was no movement. There were obvious bite marks on parts of it but in a matter of seconds they were gone! The CUBE then slowly rose to eye level and began to give the human who had caused him so much trouble a once over. It then lowered itself down to Huxley level and repeated the scan. Then, once more it rose up to look head long into Doug's eyes creating some sort of strange, invisible link between the two. And in an instant Doug was in the CUBES head. He understood immediately what the CUBE was up to...but it didn't quite add up.

The CUBE suddenly broke the mental tether, lowered itself, slashed one of Doug's tires and shot off into the sky. "What the?" said Douglas as he and Hux stared off after it, and then at each other shrugging. That was the first time they bumped into CUBE, but certainly would not be the last.

To Be Continued...