Official Phoenix Shaving Holiday & Christmas Ornaments | Available in 2 Styles! | Shatterproof Safety Ornaments
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This One's For The Children
What could be more Epically Festive than one (or possibly two) of our Shatterproof Holiday Safety Ornaments? Safety, because the holidays can be scary.
No, that's a little too much. Let me try something a little lighter...ahem:
Some Traditions Are Just Plain Pant Wetting!
I never quite understood the custom of dangling thin glass bombs from a tree that children will be crawling around excitedly come Christmas morning...and more than likely barefoot too! It's almost like we hate children and created a kid trap. Do we hate children? Do we...?
Ok, this sales page is going horribly wrong, let me try one last time:
WWSD? (Santa not Satan)
Here at Phoenix Shaving we believe you need to Stop hating children and try our Epically Festive Shatterproof Holiday Safety Ornaments! Guaranteed to be safe or your money back!
Hmmm, not sure if I really want to keep going with that angle. I really just wanted to use Epically Festive and Safety Ornaments in a sentence. That said, that is exactly what these ornaments are! Shiny, round time machines built to withstand one terrifying holiday season into the next! Be safe out there & protect the children.
Thanks For Your Continued Support!
We are honored to be part of your holiday celebration this year and years to come! Thanks for taking us in this holiday season, you ROCK! Shave On & Merry Xmas Friends!
Epically Festive Safety Ornaments! (ok i'm done)
[I may need to take a break before writing the next sales page and stay away from the nog.]
Approx. Size: 3"
Listing for one holiday ornament